WWEmployment
by HeX-VaiN
Summary: Vince McMahon kidnaps a mass-murderer off the streets of New York and puts him in the postion of Co-GM of RAW. Why did he? Why would he? Your answers are here.


WWEmployment.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the WWE Raw or Smack Down, nor do I own WWE itself. I do own Smack Down 5 and have played Smack Down 3 and Smack Down 4. Any further problems you may have, you can consult with my lawyer, Mr. Wright M Finger. Now please enjoy.  
  
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Chapter 1: The beginning.  
  
Walking through a busy city carrying an unusually large and heavy bag with the uncanny sound of metal and tiny pellets clanking, wearing his best sunglasses and a red muscle shirt with a very light green Tornado on the back. His pants are Baggy and yellow with dark gray angel wings at the side of his thighs and near his ankles are flames, large and red. His hair is died green and slightly hidden under his bandana which has a navy blue color to it. This is our favorite, gun-crazed, maniacal, inventor of the "Recoil" and stylish Manic Manican, also know as Brock Tangent. People are talking on cell phones everywhere; you can't even hide in an alley and not hear a cell phone. Cars fill the traffic filled roads, people fill the streets, bums fill the alleys and a rather large arsenal of big (and most- likely dangerous) fire arms fills Brock's gym bag.  
  
"Mass murder and Death! Oh a wonderful thing indeed, a few hundred bullets fly through the air and now you bleed. No homicidal maniacs got further, from police at the border. Canada and half the states, are laying a lot of bait to lure me in, and ruin my machine gun's hymn," Brock freestyles to himself, trying not to get the people to realize who he is. Just then, a large stretch limo pulls up right onto the road and hits three business men, two flip over the hood and the last flies into a trash can. Just then the door opens and out pops a muscular and mean looking man wearing a muscle shirt. "Get in the car!" He shouts, attracting attention to him after a few people got hit. "Um... you're making a scene." Suddenly he flexes his muscles briefly and says, "If you don't get in, we'll be making a scene called 'Here comes the pain!'" Suddenly Brock realizes the logic behind the man's short but convincing speech and he gets into the limo... with a little help from the muscle man.  
  
"Hello Damn it! I am Vince Kennedy McMahon!" A man across from Brock says just as he straightens himself up after being chucked into the car. "Look, I swear to god, the store clerk was dead when I got there!" Vince looked towards the muscle man briefly and looked back towards Brock. "We're not the FBI, CIA, CSIS, NYPD, etc. I'm the owner of the WWE Damn it!" Brock got relieved and exhaled in relaxation. "But I do know you're a gun-crazed homicidal killer," Vince added, Brock incoherently muttering under his breathe. "I'm sure you met Brock Lesnar here, I'm sure you seem quite convinced," Vince spoke, "I heard of you from local news stations and your taking ALL the attention from the WWE Damn it! So I'm offering you two choices. First, join us and help earn many viewers to our show-" "And if I don't" Brock interrupted. Just then, a sliding hatch opened up behind Vince and our gun-crazed hero turned to the sound, looking right into the eyes of Shaniqua and Jazz. The next thing you know, a blood-curling scream erupts from the car and echoes across New York. All is silent. "Glad you made your choice. Fortunately for you, we have are hosting Raw in Madison Square Garden tomorrow and I'm sure you'd like to attend... as the new CO-GM of Raw. Or you can work with Heyman." Vince said. Opening his mouth to say Smack Down, Lesnar suddenly interrupted and said, "If you say Smack Down, you better give me some good matches or else!" "Raw," Brock finished. "Damn it, I am such a good business man. Let's go Brock," Vince said. "Okay" Brock and Lesnar said in unison. "I believe he was talking to me," Lesnar said. Brock replied saying, "Hell no, I just joined." Lesnar looking a little cross replied saying, "I'm the unbeatable one!" Manic replied saying, "I'm the important one!" Vince looking at the two with a face that says What-the-hell and tries to stay out of the fight while the comments pass back and forth. "I've got a RPG in this bag!" Brock Threatens. "I got an F-5 ready for you!" Lesnar replies. "I'm wired to C4!" Brock threatens again, just to have his threat returned with, "I'm wired to Steroids!" Just then, the hatch to the drivers seat rips open and through most of the separator revealing Jazz's face with a vein pulsating on her forehead screaming, "I'M WIRED TO KICK YOUR ASSES!" Then both Brocks jump back and scream like little girls.  
  
Monday Night...  
  
Monday Night arrives quickly for others, but slow for Manic and Lesnar, who had to share a room with Jazz and Shaniqua. From the hotel they were all staying in, they got into a limo and drove off for Madison Square Garden. The road was lit up with the lights from lamp posts and various cars, signs, office windows and the ever so famous cell phone indigo lights. "So Brock," Manic began, "You're on Smack Down, right?" Lesnar nods. "Then why are you coming with us to Raw?" Lesnar smiled a bit and looked directly at Manic and answered saying, "To make sure you don't shoot anybody." An awe- struck face shows as Manic hears those evil words. Its like being shot, hearing 'don't shoot anybody' his was heart breaking. "What if-" "No," Lesnar interrupts, as Manic asks if he can shoot himself.  
  
The limo had finally entered the parking lot of the Madison Square Garden arena. Manic, Vince and Brock exited from their sides, Jazz just punched her door and sent it into the car beside them, flipping it upon impact. "Vince," Manic began, "What Damn it!" Vince replied. "How many Steroids does Jazz take?" Vince said quickly after, "You don't want to know." The group traveled out of the parking lot and into the arena itself. Vince left for the ring, Jazz waited at the car with Shaniqua, Manic went searching for the GM's office and Lesnar showed him the way.  
  
Currently, Eric Bishoff was sorting papers on his desk and throwing darts at his spray painted Stone Cold portrait when he stopped to hear some chattering from outside. Eric slowly stepped towards the door to get a better sound from the talking. "Knock on the door Manic." "I got a better Idea" "NO PUT THAT DOWN" "Come on, I'm just going to shoot the hinges!" "NO Manic, Eric likes those hinges!" "Fine..." -a loud reloading sound of a rocket being placed into a rocket launcher- "NOT THAT EITHER!" "Live ammunition! Aim, Three, two, one FIRE!" Just then, the door gets blasted apart in a huge explosion, the door now shattered and lying in a pile of rubble. Eric crawls behind his desk thinking two arsonists had just entered his building and went to kill him for firing Austin. Soon, the smoke cleared up and foot steps are heard as they entered the door. Eric looked up from his desk and spotted Manic and Lesnar. "W-w-who are you?" Bishoff said with fear on his voice. "Eric, this is Manic, he was hired to be your new Co-GM of Raw," Lesnar said. "Why are you here Lesnar?" Eric asked. "To make sure he doesn't kill anybody," Lesnar replied. "HE ALMOST KILLED ME!" Bishoff said furiously. "Hello," Manic said, extending a hand. The poor GM scrambled backwards in fear of what Manic might be planning. "I-I-I DON'T WANT A NEW CO-GM!" Eric screamed, trying to get rid of Manic. "Too bad, Vince hired me," Manic replied. Eric stood up and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Just then, Manic whispered to Brock saying, "Does he do this often?" Lesnar shrugged and said, "No but thank god I'm on Smack Down."  
  
After much talking and sorting out and telling other wrestlers that the explosion was Manic, Lesnar left the room and left Eric and Manic to themselves. "So tell me why Vince hired you," Eric asked sitting across the room from Manic. "Because I'm a homicidal killer with both Canada and Half the United States after me. Vince hired me to attract viewers to RAW." Eric got slightly uneasy hearing that Manic was a killer. Manic got a bit hungry and reached into his gym bag, rattling around the weapons in it, hearing those noises, Eric chucked a chair at Manic, hitting him in the forehead. "OW! I WAS JUST GETTING MY SANDWICH!" Manic shouted, with the imprint of a chair on his forehead. In Manic's hand was an Egg Salad Sandwich. "Oh... Sorry," Eric apologized. Just then, Chris Jericho ran in through the wreckage once known as the door. "UUGH, THOSE ASS CLOWNS!" Jericho said with a tone of fury. "Manic, this is Chris Jericho, he's famous for mistaking names and calling people ass clowns," Eric said, introducing Manic to Jericho. "Those ass clowns Rosie and Hurricane ambushed me back stage! I was just going to see Trish!" Eric got an idea and looked towards Manic with a smile. "Manic, you can handle this one," Eric said. Manic thought Eric told him to shoot Jericho, so he reached into his bag and pulled out a Beretta M9 and aimed and Jericho. Eric started screaming and pulled the gun out of his hands, chucking it out of the GM's room and into the woman's locker room where Victoria just entered. Screams erupted soon after. "Manic, I said give him a match, don't shoot him!" Eric said. Manic nodded and looked up at Jericho. "Well, you can have... ooh! You can have a match against Rosie and Hurricane, and you can use chairs and what not!" Manic said. Eric sighed and said to Chris, "He means you can have a hardcore match against Rosie and Hurricane tonight with a partner of your choice." Jericho looked towards Manic and started mocking him, saying, "Look, Maurice, Learn the matches or else you might as well be fired. He can have a chair thingy match against Rosie and Hurricane. What are you, Maurice, a typical ass clown?" Manic looking uneasy looked up to Jericho and said, "Three things Jericho. First off, I was just hired today. Second off, I'm a Mass Murderer being chased by Canada and half the USA. Third off, my name is Manic, not Maurice."  
  
Molly started limping in from the locker room and looked at Jericho, trembling in fear. "Whach's up with you?" Molly asked. "M-m-ma-m-m-mass murderer!" Jericho said quivering like crazy. She continued into the GM's room and looked left and right and Eric and Manic. "I'D LIKE SOME RESHPECT HERE!" Manic looked up and lurched backwards at the sight of her. "Oh god, house wives, I've never been good with them. You do this one Eric," Manic said, covering his eyes. Eric sighed and asked, "What's wrong Molly?" Molly turning to look at Eric after a furious glare at Manic, said, "An Ant came in a shot me with thish!" In her hand was Manic's Beretta. "Oooh, house wives with guns, even worse!" Molly slapped Manic in rage and looked back at Eric and said, "I want a match against that ant!" Manic laughed and said, "Your deranged lady. Eric threw that in there, I tried to shoot Jericho with it."  
  
Molly walked out with eyes wide and jaw dropped. Victoria walked up to molly and asked, "So did you get the match?" Molly nodded. "Then what's wrong?" Victoria asked one more time, Molly replied saying, "M-m-ma-m-m- mass murderer!"  
  
And with two matches issued, and a new GM in the office, WWE suddenly took a turn for the worst. What will happen in Raw? What is Vince really planning? Why is my Sandwich moldy? Find these answers and more on the next chapter of WWEmployment!  
  
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End file.
